Do you ever wonder how you appear to others? We all have a certain view of ourselves - how we look or act or talk. We all have a certain view of who it is that lives in this body of ours, and it's usually a much younger person inside there than others might see. But is our view accurate?

         A while back, I was walking outside a nursing home and glanced at the person walking near me whose reflection was cast in the large windows on either side of the sidewalk. I first saw a gray-haired fellow walking with a slight slouch in rumpled clothing, and then I was a bit shocked to realize that reflection was me! What made it all the more startling was that I'd just been thinking of a time when I was a sophomore in high school. I was wearing a new white shirt with button down collar, new dark trousers and new black shoes with pointed toes, quite trendy for 1961. And I recalled how a cute junior girl, Judy Schimmelpfennig, had smiled sweetly at me and said, "You look sharp today, Bob." I wonder what she'd say if she saw me today. It's unnerving to be shocked by one's own reflection. The hard truth is that I no longer look like that sharp young guy on the street 45 years ago!

         So, how do you think you appear to others? Do they see you as smiling or sad, as trim or paunchy, as confident or unsure, in your prime or getting old? A more appropriate question for believers, though, is how do we appear to God? Since the Bible says God sees the heart (Acts 15:8), how do we appear to Him as we walk along our sidewalks of life?

         Personal appearance may not always seem important, but to a Christian it is more important than we might think. How others see us can determine how they see our Christian faith. If we are pleasant and joyful, they will make a judgment about our faith. If we are fussy or cynical, or stern or cranky, or hard and judgmental, that too will determine how they see God through us.

         Christian traditional writings in the early church tell us that pagans and other unbelievers often remarked of Christians, "See how they love each other!" This was a time of such lovelessness in Roman society that any show of love or joy would set Christians apart from the rest of the crowd. People could see something different about Christians, something kind, and patient and good.

         Could the same be said of us today? Or has it become that we don't look any different than the rest of the pagan world? Could people be able to say of us, "See how they love one another?" It's such a simple thing to say, but it's almost the highest compliment we could be paid. It's certainly better than, "See how nice their buildings are!" or "See how big their church is." It was simply, "See how they love one another!"

         St. Paul was an old man when he wrote his letter to the Philippians. He felt certain Christ was coming back again soon. He lived each day like it was his first day with God, and his last day on earth. He wanted his people to think on important things, not the petty and inconsequential. The things society today counts important - politics, personal rights, financial security - Paul and the early believers would not even have considered these worthy of their worry. Instead they spent their time and concern on the things of God. They thought about things in our text - rejoicing, gentleness, prayer, contentment and peace.

         C. S. Lewis wrote a wonderful little book called, Surprised by Joy, which tells about his journey from unbelief to faith. The title is also a sort of play on words because he was married late in life to an American woman named Joy Gresham. Lewis recounts those married years as being the best of his life, filled with much joy and peace, even though she died after a short few years of cancer. Paul, too, was often surprised by the joy God gave Him, usually through an unexpected show of love, or by a person's great faith, or the charity of a small church for a larger one.

         Let's examine four things Paul says are the secret to a better Christian life:

         (1) "REJOICE IN THE LORD ALWAYS" - "Rejoice" is a form of joy that comes from a good relationship with God. It's a fruit of the Spirit, together with love, peace, patience and self-control. We get our joy from God because God Himself is joyful. His angels rejoice in His presence and look forward, as we do, to that final state of eternal life wherein we will never know suffering or strife or any kind of sadness. We rejoice because God loves us now. And our rejoicing brings joy to others. We pass it on, what we have received it from the Lord, and God blesses it all.

         (2) "BE GENTLE WITH EACH OTHER". St. Paul wrote, "Let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers." (Galatians 6:10) I seem to recall a song entitled, "You Always Hurt the One You Love." How true! We sinful humans have an amazing tendency to be meaner to people we know than those we don't. Married people snap at their spouse, parents yell at their kids, and kids sass their parents or ignore them. So often it is the closer we are to people, the less patient we are with them. Paul says be gentle, not bossy, and patient, not picky. The world should see a difference because we are Christian. But will it? If you and I were brought to trial for being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict us?

         (3) "DON'T WORRY SO MUCH" - My Mom used to say worry is concern without faith. If that's the case, then I don't have much faith and neither do you. Jesus in His Sermon on the Mount said, "Do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." (Matthew 6:31-33) That just about covers the whole topic - we could stop right there.

         But wait - He's not done yet. He also said, "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? ...Do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough troubles of its own." (Matt. 5:27, 34) Worry raises your blood pressure, shows a lack of faith and consumes energy better used on something constructive. Don't worry so much! God help us all with this universal problem!!

         (4) "PRAY ABOUT EVERYTHING" - Prayer was Paul's answer to everything, and it should be ours too. Al and Betty are longtime friends of ours and I often ask them for advice. Betty's pat answer when I bring something up is, "Have you prayed about it?" Usually I say yes, but I don't think I'm being truthful. A lot of us say we have prayed about something when all we've done is just thought about it. We equate meditating on a problem with praying about it. That's the same as thinking of how you love someone rather than actually telling them. If you never tell your spouse or kids you love them, you're doing them no favor. They want to hear you say it, not just live it. And so does God. Talk to the Lord in prayer about everything, and see how much wiser your choices are, how much easier your day will be. Prayer isn't just thinking something - it's talking to Almighty God of the universe, and He gets things done, usually in His distinct and special way.

         The joy we have, whether at Christmas or at any time, comes from God. God loves and forgives us in Jesus! What greater joy can there be than to know we are forgiven, despite all we've done wrong? Our Lord came into the World to save us from our mistakes and errors. He loves us with an everlasting love that'll never go away. Praise be to God that we have peace with Him because of Jesus. He accepts us as we are, and He cares enough to change us where He knows it's needed.

         Bill had to send the letter. He had put up with his bossy brother long enough. From as long as he could remember, Bob had treated him like a child, and he was sick of it. The last time they were together Bob had embarrassed him too much. It was time to act. Bill carefully wrote the letter, slept on it a few nights, re-wrote it several times and finally was ready to send it. He addressed the envelope, stamped it and took it to the mailbox with several other letters. Weeks went by and there was no response. Oh, he'd written the letter with very specific intent - there was no way Bob could possibly miss what he was saying. More weeks went by, and finally Bill figured brother Bob was just ignoring it.
         He saw Bob later that year at a family Thanksgiving. Though they had time alone, there was no mention of the letter. But Bob did seem nicer than usual. None of the usual "big-brother" put-downs, none of the humiliation. They even talked of getting together. What had happened? Maybe the letter did the trick, and Bob just didn't want to talk about it. The brothers got along well after that Thanksgiving. Maybe it was sitting together in church - it was hard to say.
         The next spring Bob died of a heart attack. He got up one fine morning and just keeled over. Bill really felt sad, and on that chilly day of the funeral as he was putting on his wool sport coat, he noticed something inside the pocket. It was his letter to Bob - somehow he'd never sent it! Bob never got his letter of anger and resentment. With a lump in his throat Bill read it and then tore it up. Then he got down on his knees and thanked God it had gotten lost.

         Some would say that letter should have been sent, but I believe not all words of truth are helpful. Sometimes, no matter how well we write them, words are misunderstood. But always, the best is to let God take care of the problem. At times we have to speak words, and at other times God must speak. Whatever you choose to do, rejoice in the Lord! Give your trouble to Jesus and let Him take care of it. Sometimes He removes it and at other times we have to live with a thorn in the flesh, a reminder to depend on God in everything. God help us all rejoice in the Lord. Amen!

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