It's always a joy to read this story of Jesus taking the time to be reconciled with Peter.  It easily could have been an ugly scene between Jesus and the man who denied Him three times.  But of course, our Lord would never let that happen.  God seeks reconciliation, with people and between people.  The whole purpose of Christ coming into the world is to reconcile the world to Himself.  As Paul says, "God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them." (2 Corinthians 5:1)

          Reconciliation is the process of becoming "peaceable and friendly after conflict."  Conflict is one of the most common of all human tendencies.  People disagree with each other.  We argue.  We get into fights.  Pride rises up as we try to get our own way.  Conflict is a part of life, but it can be either for good or for evil, depending on whether love is involved.  If we love the other person involved, we'll want resolution with the least amount of anger.  If we insist on our own way, people will get hurt.  We can't avoid conflict, but we can avoid having it destroy our relationships.

          Conflict happens in the home, on the job, and also in the church.  We may differ on issues or struggle with certain personalities.  Conflict over issues is usually easier to deal with.  When it comes to personalities, that person whose manner just grates us, reconciliation can become much harder.

          Jesus and his companions didn't always see eye-to-eye.  His disciples scolded Him for talking about His death.  His family wanted to take Him home, presumably to straighten Him out.  The Scribes and Pharisees lectured Him over His teachings.

          It's a sign of His true humanity that our Lord was involved in conflict.  That's why He once said, "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift in front of the altar.  First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift." (Matthew. 5:23-24)

          It doesn't matter if you're the one who caused the hurt or the one who's been hurt, Jesus wants us to be reconciled.  He makes it sound so easy, but we know it's often hard.  Still God calls on us to try to be reconciled.  Remember this -- you and I must try.  God will make it work if possible.  In all our efforts for reconciliation, God is the one who gives the success.  You and I are just called on to give our best effort.

          Despite our best efforts, some reconciliation never comes.  God just asks us to try.  You and I must leave the results to Him.  Joe and Bill quarrelled as youngsters, and they avoided each other as adults.  They never agreed on anything and twice even got into fistfights.  In his adulthood, Bill turned to Jesus and eventually sought to resolve the conflict with his brother.  He went to ask Joe's forgiveness, but Joe wouldn't give it.  Though he tried again and again, his efforts were to no avail.  Bill now has peace that he tried, but sadness that his efforts failed.

          The power behind reconciliation is God's love.  St. Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 5:18, "All this is from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation."  God has first reconciled us to Himself in Jesus Christ.  Then you and I, armed with His forgiveness, can seek reconciliation with others.  St. Paul even calls it a ministry.  Some people are better reconcilers than others.  God gives them ability to see things more clearly, without the emotions that cloud things.  May God give His church many people with that special ministry of reconciliation!

          You and I may not always know the reason for the conflict, but I'm not sure we need to know.  People can be angry at us for reasons that have little to do with us.  But we're there and we're handy, and so we get the arrows and bullets shot at us.

          Back in an earlier church, a longtime member of mine quit attending.  When I asked him why, I was met with silence.  Finally he said, "I think you know the reason why."  But I didn't.  The Elders met with him and learned nothing.  The whole church was bothered by his absence and, of course, rumors abounded.  I left that parish without ever knowing the reason.  Then a few years later I received a letter from him asking my forgiveness for his actions.  No explanation was offered, just regret that he'd been so stubborn.  So I called him and forgave him, but I never did find out what the source of the conflict was.  But it didn't matter.  I was just pleased it was over.

          Reconciliation is a gift that's always a blessing to be part of.  Love doesn't need a reason to forgive.  The motivating power behind reconciliation is God's love.  God even reconciles His enemies to Himself.  St. Paul said, "For if, when we were God's enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life!" (Romans 5:10)   We are His enemies and the reconciler is Jesus Christ.  The cross is the instrument and the method is self-sacrifice.  Because of His death and resurrection, we are reconciled to God.  We have become "peaceable and friendly with God after conflict."

          John, the disciple who ran away in the Garden, once said, "This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.  Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another." (1 John 4:10-11)   It's all up to God, and it's all about God.  Salvation is really not about me.  Yes, I'd like to think my faith in God helps in reconciliation, but it's really His love for me.  My love tends to be selfish; it has sinful origins.  But God's love is holy; it's the only love that's pure.

          When Jesus asked Peter those three questions, "Do you love me?" we always tie those three questions with Peter's three denials - and we should.  But we may not know that Jesus used two different words for love.  Here's a little Greek lesson:  "Agape" is self-giving love, the unselfish kind, the love God has for us.  "Filia" is mutual love, the kind between friends.  The first two questions, "Peter, do you love me?" Jesus was asking, "Peter, do you love me unselfishly?"  But the third time, He used the other word for love.  He asked, "Peter, are you my friend?"

          God expects us to love each other unselfishly, at least as best we can.  But He also expects us to love each other as friends, or at least to try.  Like a pastor told me, instead of being friends with the love called "Filia", we just filet each other!  St. Paul said in 1 Corinthians, "Love keeps no record of wrongs."  I surely wish that were true, especially in the church.

          In today's lesson, John said, "Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another." (1 John 4:11)   It's not easy to do.  We have our pride and our position to think of.  But God shows us the way.  He sacrificed Himself for us.  "He loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins." (1 John 4:10)   It's the sacrificial love of Jesus that allows us to be reconciled, with each other and also with God.

          Mary and Susan were sisters whose main job in life was to quarrel.  No matter what the issue, they argued and fought.  Mom's admonitions accomplished little.  She begged, bribed or threatened, but they still fought.  One year they asked their Mom what she wanted for Christmas.  "Just one day of peace without you two quarrelling," she said.  No matter -- they quarrelled Christmas Day anyway.  The two sisters went to college and their separate ways, and there was finally peace between them.

          Twenty years after High School their Mom contracted cancer and died suddenly.  The two sisters met to divide her household items.  Because there was so much, they decided to give it all to Good Will and keep only one item each from their Mom's china hutch.  Susan took the ceramic horse, and Mary took the china doll.  But on the return flight Susan realized she'd taken the one thing Mary had always wanted, the ceramic horse.  She, too, had always wanted the pretty little china doll Mary took.  It seemed the old rivalry could once again return.

          That year at Christmas, Susan carefully wrapped the ceramic horse and sent it off to Mary.  Her mother's pleadings for harmony moved her.  And on the very day Susan mailed her package, a small box arrived from Mary.  Opening it, she found her beloved china doll.  Without either knowing the other's plans, the two sisters had given each other -- and their Mother -- a most wonderful gift, the gift of reconciliation and love.

          Life is too short to be filled with unresolved conflict.  Satan is filled with glee when Christians fight.  He knows it will destroy us, but he runs back to his hole in hell when two people reconcile.  There is joy in heaven over the sinner who repents and special joy when it's two sinners.  God has no hands but ours to serve; He has no feet but ours to go; He has no voice but ours to speak.

          Today, we welcome into membership nine young people by Confirmation.  I have tried to teach them a few things about the Lord in class, but we as a church teach them by our example.  May Peter and Jesus be our example of Christian love, amen!

Copyright © 2004 by Pastor Bob Tasler.  All rights reserved.